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- John Mulaney, the comedian, has a joke about being an English major. He says that instead of walking across a stage at graduation to accept a certificate for reading books he didn't read, he'd rather cut up his diploma into lines with a laundry card and have his baby snort it up to get rid of a baby headache1. He also jokes that he might have been supposed to be gay, but they forgot to flip the final switch in heaven2.Learn more:✕This summary was generated using AI based on multiple online sources. To view the original source information, use the "Learn more" links.
You cut it up into lines with your laundry card or whatever and you make it nice, and your baby takes his sippy-cup straw and he holds it in his little ravioli-sized baby fist and he leans over– [snorts] and he snorts up the baby aspirin, and he gets rid of his baby headache, plus you get a duffel bag! [audience laughing] That is way better than walking across a stage at graduation, hungover, in a gown, to accept a certificate...
genius.com/John-mulaney-i-didnt-drink-the-water-t…I think I was supposed to be gay, I think like in heaven, they built like three quarters of a gay person, and then they forgot to flip the final switch, and they just sent me out, and it was like, "you marked that one gay, right?", and it was like, "oh, no, was I supposed to?", and they were like, "oh, man this will be a very interesting person".en.wikiquote.org/wiki/John_Mulaney - People also ask
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